Water came out of your bed Mommy

This totally has nothing to do with writing, other than the fact that I am writing it, a'duh.

My three year old sleeps with me every night, which kicks my hubby right down onto the family room sofa, but that's beside the point. Anyway, last night she woke up, pushing hard on my shoulder to wake me. Her wide eyes full of fear as they tried hard to see my eyes through the dark room.
"Mommy, wake up, wake up. Hurry-water is coming out of the bed."

Her fear was so real as she tried to tug me out of the bed so this water wouldn't swallow me up and drown me. My dear young child was trying so desperately to save me.

"Hurry mommy, hurry. Look," she said tugging on her nightie. "It already got me all wet. Hurry mommy."

First I had to shake off a partial dream still in my foggy head before I realized exactly what was happening.

I felt her side of the bed, and it was wet. And by God she was right. Her nightie was soaked. Since I don't have a water bed I knew exactly what had happened.

I said, "Honey, it's okay. There's no water coming out of the bed. You went pee-pee. It's just an accident. I'll make it all..."

Before I could finish she interrupted as harshly as any three year old could.

"No I didn't. There's water coming out of the bed. See." By now I had the light on and her little innocent-there's no way I'd pee the bed finger was pointing at the big wet spot where *wink* water was coming out of it.

Needless to say, at three a.m. I am not arguing, explaining, or making anything up. I only had enough energy to clean her and the bed so I could just go back to sleep.

Finally we were all set. Everything was clean. I climbed in on my side of the bed and just before I was about the click the light off I realized she was standing on my side of the bed.

"What are you doing? Get into bed."

And with eyes and stance of any adult she said, "I AM NOT SLEEPING THERE. The water might come out of the bed again."

I slid over onto her side of the bed, turned the light off and snuggled next to my little big girl who for the first time since she was potty trained wet the bed.

Since she was entirely potty trained very early (she never wore a diaper or pull up, not even at night) by the time she was two months shy of three years old, and has never had an accident, I can see why she just couldn't imagine peeing the bed. It just would not, could not ever happen.

I wonder what's worse though???? Letting my kid fear we might drown while sleeping because I have a bed that gushes water at night, or tell her that sometimes kids have pee-pee accidents, and it really IS okay.

As I wander through the family room picking up toys and trying to keep my Lab and Chihuahua off my partially folded laundry that I’m in the midst of, my mind is far away. On the outside of my head I hear a baby chick singing, I see a hamster walking a plank and my three year is singing songs that are way too old for her. On the inside of my head I’m wondering if I need the tell my story of Lemonade for Christmas in the original third person or switch it to first person. I’m debating a prologue and epilogue.

I’m pretty sure I have ADD. At the same time I’m trying to conjure up something special I can do with the girls before they go back to school and how I’m supposed to get the smell of the rabbits out of the basement. The vet says cedar chips can give them pneumonia, but even cleaning out their cage once a week and having a litter box in there still isn’t working. Perhaps cedar chips under the bedding will do, well see.

I love summer. But, it sure does keep me out of the routine of things. There is so much on my personal agenda that gets lost in the summer, for now that’s okay.

My back to school to do list is as follows:

Work on my book.
Schedule all fall appts.: Vet, dentist and eye exams.
Get the house in order: Closets, drawers, garage and basement
Go through toys (birthdays are coming up-more stuff) and get rid of some.
Sign girls up for gymnastics (they already play fall ball too)
Get my cracked windshield fixed
Prepare yard, garden, patio’s and deck for fall.
Get Halloween costumes
Plan b-day party for September 17th
Plan b-day party for October 6th
Get gift for my Nicky (turning 20 on October 29th)
Get back on exercise routine
Polish query letter and synopsis
And of course I have to do my whole real estate job thingy.

The entire month of September will consist of Saturday b-day parties for my own as well as relative’s kid’s parties and this will carry through into most of October’s Saturdays. Not to mention my own birthday is on the 28th, which I usually end up having to work.

Practically all Sundays will consist of devoting my days to open houses for my listings. And between homework, gymnastics and fall ball the weekday evening are pretty much all used up. So I will get three days a week. Monday, Wednesday and Friday of every week (unless there is a holiday or something) during the just for me.

I DO intend to use this time wisely. I WILL GET MY BOOK POLISHED. IT WILL SHINE, AS WILL THE QUERY LETTER AND SYNOPSIS.

My main goal (of course other than being the best mom I can be) is to lead my readers through the publication process of my book. I intend to take you on a journey with me as I get the book perfect, send it to agents and then as they send it off to editors. And hopefully, the perfect end result-PUBLICATION.

I hope you follow me on my journey. An occasional ‘chin up’ comment when rejections come in . A ‘pat on the back’ when a request of offered. Most importantly a huge kick in the ass when I think about giving up.

Well, gotta go for now. Since it’s raining outside-it’s playtime on the inside. I’ve just been handed a yummy plate with (all plastic food) a hot dog, a crabby patty burger, French fries, ice cream cone, waffle, lemon, orange slice, the top of another bun, and a cup of tea from Chip (the cup in Beauty and The Beast)She will insist I eat it all. If I even try to tell her I’m done she will point out the ONE that I didn’t eat.

Hopefully, I’ll see ya tomorrow.

What to do? What to do?

I sit here today pondering a pounding question cutting into my brain so painfully. What am I supposed to do with my life? Don’t get me wrong. I have a full life. A wonderful life-better than I ever thought it would be. Better than I think most who have ever known me have thought it would be. And although I practically have two full time jobs as an at home mom and a Realtor-there is something missing.

I feel somewhat selfish in saying that, but it’s true. I’ve always been this kind of person. I can be a lot of things to a lot of people, but if I’m not who I want to be for me then there is something lacking. I’m envious of the people in the world who are satisfied by just being who they are and don’t need anything ‘special’ about who they are. Not that I want or need to be special. There are just parts of me missing. Ya know the feeling of not feeling complete. I’m a puzzle that some pieces are missing to. You can’t just sit there looking at that pretty little picture with missing pieces. You know they are around somewhere-they just need to be found.

Anyway, I hate my job as a Realtor these days. The market sucks a Mount Everest lollipop. Not that I was ever a good sales person. I’m just a good hand-holder. Seems 8 years is too long to go through life holding hands and hoping for a constant cash flow. These days I’m putting out more money than I’m making. I know, enough already about the whining. I know I need to do something about it.

I’ve set new goals for myself. Realistic goals (I’m pretty sure). Like I said earlier, I have two full time jobs. Well, I consider myself to have another full-time job. Behind closed doors, with only a few words seeping out beyond these doors, I am a writer. I put more time into my writing than I ever do with the Real Estate career. Hum, maybe that’s why I’m not making money. Anyway, that’s beside the point, and I don’t want to go there because writing is more important to me than any outside career I’ve ever had.

So my new goals are to begin when the kids go back to school in 12 days. I will have specific writing times to finish revising Lemonade for Christmas. I’m hoping to get it out there to agents by the end of September. I’m thinking that if agents/editors are reading it just before the Christmas Holiday then the impact of the story will be stronger then if it were being read at a different time, especially right after Christmas. I think most people feel that once the holiday is over-IT IS OVER. At least for the next 10 months or so.

The job I do so fully love is being a mom and I hate the fact that I just can’t stop thinking about just XXX more days before school starts. I am such a strong believer in the term DON’T WISH YOUR LIFE AWAY. Now that I’m 38 (soon to be 39) I think back on so many times where I did just wish my life away. Now I just want time to stay still for a while so I can enjoy my kids while they are still young. This is one of the most important reasons why I think it’s important that I don’t waste my time doing something I really don’t like. It takes so much time away from them, with the end result usually not worth it.

So as I sit here balancing my laptop outside amongst sidewalk chalk, floaties, abandoned Popsicle sticks and toddler gardening supplies I’m already missing my kids. Yes, they are all here, but will be back at school all too soon. It seems it was just a couple of days ago that I was screaming about all the toys left around the house, the pool towels tossed over railings and on their bedroom floor, and all the pool toys left in the pool or scattered about in the yard. I weekly wash about 10 bathing suits, most from all the ‘visitors’ who come swimming without a suit. Oh, and all the extra towels too. The makers of Tide love those who live my lifestyle.

Not to mention every night begging to have a sleepover. Groceries being eaten up by everyone walking through my door. Bikes, scooters and clothes being left here by all the visitors. Running the dishwasher more than once a day.

Well, honestly it probably was just a couple of days ago that I was yelling about all of those things. It was easier to be hard on them in the beginning of the summer, but now I’m already missing it.

Going back to school will also mean the pool will be closed. The happy, loud, splashing kids will be gone. The vegetable garden won’t have a bunch of feet running through it squealing with excitement over how big a cucumber got. The smell of hot dogs grilling will be gone. The swing set will collect cobwebs and the garage, driveway and yard will stay tidy. And of course there won’t be all the towels, extra clothes, kids running through eating up my food, bikes and scooters left around. I should be happy, right? I won’t have anything to complain about, right? Nope! As much as all of that drives me crazy, at the same time it thrills me. I know it won’t last for long. One day it will be gone forever and it will be then that I’ll want it even more.

So what was the point of this blog anyway? Oh yeah, I’m going to take my time and live in the moment. I will set my goals more realistically, not taking away from my family. I will use the three days a week (when I’m alone) to write. And once I know my manuscript is ready I will send it off into the world. That same world that my little ones will fly to someday. That same world that already holds my oldest. All my babies are precious to me, whether they have come from my womb or my heart. All of which I will only release when I know they are ready-WHEN THEY ARE TRULY READY.